Put your best foot Forward

“Ohui”, it sounds funny when you mistakenly pronounce it without the Ga-Adangbe accent. For the fear of being neglected and made mockery at while growing up, I personally decided not to add “Ohui” to my middle name.

The name “Ohui” is the name given to the first female child by some part of Ga-Adangbe . Names such as “Ofoe, Akutu, Ogboo, Awo, Dede, etc” tells of which clan in Ada one belongs to. I am an Ada and I speak the Ga-Adangbe language very well. I also speak Ga and Krobo too. I love and respect my culture and would wish people would stop segregating and making divisions because one is not an/a “Ewurama, Aisha, Kwame, Kekeli, Mohammed, Hamdala, Naa Kwarley, Ashokor, etc”

“Etornam and I were getting to know each other better after a hangout. We exchanged contacts and decided to give it a shot. He was thrilled and so was I. He tells his parents he has found a lady and was getting to know her more. His parents then decided to probe more into the news. “Where is she from?”

Somehow, I always knew by the mere mention of my middle name, people would start asking questions like Etornam’s parents. The only time my Granny said anything concerning my choice of partner was when she forbade me not to bring an Ewe to the family (You know Old people and their funny insinuations). I always concluded she had her own motive for saying that.

Years back, I remember making a promise to myself never to marry a man from my tribe. You know what they say about them when it comes to arguments 😂 or perhaps it could be a personality discord. When I cast my mind back to girl talks I used to have with my- I call them “The girls” (Female friends), we would talk about men from the various regions. I recall my roommate; a northerner telling me about their men. They are very hardworking and owned GIGANTIC penises.😎

Some also said Fante men were lazy so they were so not interested. And this gist wasn’t from my girls alone. Male friends also swore that Women from Ga-Adangbe and Krobo’s are the sweetest and I am sure you know what that means. Of course…😍 They are good in bed and they (men) know what the beads does to them in bed. Abi you know that saying is true…But, what is the point here..

As a learned person, I sometimes try to make people understand that in this 21st century, we need to tolerate varied cultures and this objective could be achieved by mutual understanding. it is the duty of everyone to contribute his/her quota of the battle of tribalism.

We should, however, encourage inter-tribal marriages.
As young adults, most of our parents would still want to interfere in our choices. They would want you to attend their Alma mater because, it’s a family tradition, marry from a particular tribe because they did same and feel it’s the best decision, be with a particular kind of class or take up a particular kind of profession because, it’s undeniably the best that can put food on the table.

But will you put your best foot forward and say “No” to them anytime they suggest to you because you are an adult? Or you will go with them because it’s a lineage that needs to be passed on from tradition to tradition?If an Akan man should marry a Ga or Ewe, their children traditionally will be lost because, they don’t belong anywhere and might not get support from family members, friends or the society when hardship sets in. Studies have shown that inter-tribal marriages have lower support from family members and many would go to their

hometown to marry their kind, secretly or openly to please extended family. You would find Ghanaian marriages in so many permutations and ask why people are aggressive to see their children marry a particular tribe.

For me, the most important thing is, parents should rather make enquires about whether there’s some kind of Sickness, negative attitude that runs in the family of the potential husband or wife of their children rather than institutionalizing marriage for them. Such endogamy is pure tomfoolery which might not yield well if care is not taken.

Tribalism has led to unhappy marriages and ingredients which is the prerequisite for a good marriage has been neglected. I quickly asked, “So does our inability to speak a particular language (Whether Twi, Ewe, Nzema, Dagomba, Ga-Adangbe, Sisala, Akuapem, Fante, you just name them make us less a marriageable material? And it will amaze you the kind of parents who do that; people who have gone to schools and have had degrees upon degrees still wear their old raggy ideas and still stand painstakingly by their words.

Some give excuses like “We cannot travel far to see our in-laws or these tribe eh they are something else and excuses upon excuses…My thoughts exactly, “The next time I mention “Nana Kojo, Korkor, Mohammed, Tetteh, Kofi, Naa Amerley, Aku, Nii” please don’t give me that awkward look and don’t think twice about whether or not you are making a good choice of a tribe.

©May 2019

8 thoughts on “Put your best foot Forward

  1. Hi Akosua How are you doing? Good we’ve met. You’re doing great. Lol I’m waiting for some response bi oooo with the continuation of “when I spotted him”.

    Congrats in advance

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great piece. I agree with your thinking. You’ve broached a sensitive topic in an interesting way. I would say also that there is some truth in these tribal perceptions due to our social and cultural upbringings. Indeed, they could play out in marriages, as far as attitude and behaviour are concerned. However, if these tribal stereotypes would influence marriage and wreck it, I believe it would be to the degree to which both individuals in the marriage allow them to. You’re spot on, we can and must do better.

    Liked by 1 person

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