Chapter Six of “When i Spotted Him…”
A happy new month loves. May this month fill us with Joy and peace. Read Chapter 5 of W.I.S.H?
Akosua was in love with a church guy but the occurrence that surrounded this love was tough. Did she give up? Pursued till the end? Found another love? Confused as it may seem, her never-ending-story continues.
Who was he? What has he done to me? I couldnt help but torture my damn self from this conflicting incidents. These questions kept flooding my mind, making me second guess everything I thought I knew about love and its repercussions. My brain was getting worked up, like a computer when multiple files are opened at once and if I wasnt careful it would crash.
I needed to relax. I took a breather and composed myself. A best friend who could sense a different me, the Holy Spirit urged me to look beyond the non-existent feelings and approach life with faith and vigor. My rational mind told me a prayer of faith could as well bring my attention to him. Doubts sometimes did set in because, here is this man standing in front of me with looks every girl would like to have, in every conversation, the word God comes in it, looking at his mannerisms, one will easily conclude he is a home maker, an observer with the spirit of open-mindedness, less judgmental and he damn knows how to handle a situation.
These qualities were striking and I couldn’t wait to pinpoint his flaws he damn knows he is attractive and a good conversationist I am not saying this to make his big head bigger than it is already. Anyways, he did win my heart and I did admire him and wished my future dates will possess these enviable qualities; and even more. My prayer topic wasn’t about him- truth! It was about having faith and zeal to stand up for what I believe in and that
Every woman should also be in a position to express her feelings without any hindrance or mockery from society. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.
His intentions and thoughts about me weren’t really a bother to me because, personally, I will never yearn to please a guy. It will be telling a lie and living a life of hypocrisy. I will rather be myself and accept thoughtful or constructive criticism, and pay attention to suggestions. I was in no position to make any demands, suggest things we should do, in terms of going out, creating good conversations, why? He is sure to ask a why because, I was very emotional and a disappointment will definitely kill me in the end. I just didnt want to push too hard with him and had to be careful.
My prayer then was:
Dear Heavenly father, your daughter is grateful for her life. I confess my sins before you and bring my request before you. God, here is this man I long and hope to have a future with. I am hurt because of the circumstances surrounding this situation. If this is your will and desire for me, so be it.
This prayer was said without faith. Without faith because a part of me felt it was never going to happen. Even with me in the next world, he will definately choose another over me. Not to say this is judgemental but Kay’s utterances clearly shown otherwise. I was not matching up to his standard and i couldn’t fake it too.
Mum said in chapter 2, Chapter 2 if he likes you, he will definately come around. No need to push harder and complicate things for yourself. I could however recall Kay saying this in passing Fortune Favors the bravery. I was brave. Yes, brave in telling him about my feelings. But what I failed to recognized was that he was the kind who would want to hang out with a lady of his caliber- Tall, fair, pretty, good-looking, Jolly-going type, sociable, laugh at the slightest jokes, and one with an intelligent brain. And certainly not my kind who is scared when I see him and feel naturally uncomfortable with him. Truth is, all I wanted was his friendship and being inspired by his attitude. I guessed I rushed into making friends with him and keeping crossed fingers. Little did I know, I will be hurting inside if I don’t move on and keep a positive mindset about the whole situation. An idea quickly came in mind and this idea helped me in one way or the other. This was “branding myself”