What I need to write is a writing of unusual language. Yesterday, I packed my luggage and baggage. I was ready to meet my groom who sounded like António Jacinto My beauty draws my hair, but not the tasty food in my bowl.
Consider the grace and peace in my breast and the pain in my back. The gap in my teeth and curves in my neck. The spark in my eyes and the invite in my smile. Even the span of this hips and swing of waist couldn’t be compared to Maya Angelou’s Phenomenal Woman. I have been insulted by a Man: He called me “Konongo Kaya” One who has always proven to be a Crook! My groom never saw these stupendous Look!
A crook is what I see and not a Man. He ditched me for greater. Jilted me for another! Now, I’m trying to hold back to this silent tear. Let me tell you my greatest Fear. That through it all my mind and heart still aches for him daily.
“Konongo Kaya” meaning- Pretending not to love someone when in actual sense you do; and in effect, you don’t want another to take that person.
…and as I walked through the familiar path of potholes that led to the doorsteps, where we had spent many starry nights cuddling and looking into each other’s sunken eyeballs, memories came flooding back as the fragrance of the rose bushes wafted over me. In my mind’s eye I could see him shirtless, flashing his usual signature smile and barbecuing pork chops in the garden. Pork! How we used to race each other to Korkor’s domedo joint.
I have plans of passing by after work today. Do you mind? You may have to entertain me with the usual because I’ve got a lot on my mind and I need a distraction. Hopefully, I don’t get to forget I have a meeting tomorrow..
See you soon.
My knocks on the door were feeble and evenly timed as though I was uncertain of knocking in the first place. Suddenly I realized my throat had gone dry and my palms were getting sweaty. At last, I took courage to send in a few knock and called out “Kekeli, Kekeli,…agoo are you in there?”
He came out shirtless, stared deeply at the figure standing in front of him. It was as if he wanted to say his last words and all. his heart thumping excitedly against his chest, The emotions bottled up on the inside pushed upwards threatening to choke him… He took another long and careful gaze and smiled.
before anything else, I have something to say. Don’t get alarmed! Nothing’s happened! Nothing’s been said! We still are the good friends we deceptively tell ourselves we are despite all the signs.
have you ever felt that way before? When the one person you’ve ever TRULY loved is that one person you very well know you aren’t allowed to??
I mean can you imagine all the restraint and emotional willpower it’s taken me to roll along, stay mute and pretend as if nothing is happening to me?
Maybe it’s an infatuation, sis, but what I do know is I’m elated when I’m in her company; when all her focus is me and the kind of vibe is unexplainable.
A love that may never well be…
I have no idea if the gods have anointed her as the one for me, all I know is when I’m with her I’m spurred to be better; to do better; to look out for the best in me… if ‘us’ would ever be; if ‘us’ would ever materialize but this I do know…. Her ilk is rare…
Demedo : Fried pork usually sold in the evenings at a busy spot or joint.
Behind the cash machine stood her glowing in her lens
As I saw her come near,
Nothing a man could do but silently cheer.
A sight as beautiful as the sea
A smell as good as popcorn popping at the movie theater
A word, for a moment, could not be uttered
Confidence was all that mattered
But backward or forward I couldn’t move
At last, the inner feelings conquered and expressed itself to her
We both had admiration for ourselves.
Behind her lens is a woman,
Not by her adorable beauty alone,
Not by her incandescent smiles alone,
Not by her angelic voice alone,
But a woman who could see a million miles ahead of what her lens could see
A woman who would not make love a theory
A woman who would positively impact your life with a minute’s encounter
And now anytime I sit idle in her absence,
There is nothing I could do than to play with words.
This woman is rare,
This woman is real.
I have two sides
I want to address
One side pricks hearts
The other warms
Friends, recently I have been at bay
Trying to think, understand, and reconsider humanity.
Lost I am now.
Tangled in a web.
Trying to make amends.
People, understand this.
I can spot fake from a far.
I am a poet: act according to the way I feel.
I have been in confusion with humanity.
Humanity murmurs behind my back.
It tells me I am black.
This strong pain in my chest hurts.
I am a poet: weaving words as beautiful as the rainbow.
Warming weary hearts with words.
But my other side seizes sight of friends.
In darkness of the night I try friends.
I try to reconsider and not to remain silent.
Humanity won’t just allow this secret.
Humanity talks and the fragility of this heart can’t contain it but to remain mute.
Sleep refuses to set in
My mind goes to a long journey
One of bliss and bloom
Makes me want to shun reclusion
Makes me want to imagine how you made me feel
What is it about you that haunts me?
I let you go so I can set my mind free.
You meant everything to me and now, I have to treat you like a stranger,
Take me back to when we smiled sweetly
That look on your face; I swear it was flirtatious.
But I felt for it anyways
it isn’t our time to be together.
I’m losing my sanity
I’m losing it because of you
I was completely lost before I met you.
You gave me reason to live and direction to follow.
But now we’re back to square one,
And the loneliness has already begun.
I promised you’ll never be my muse
Because this reclusion will affect our relationship
You promised never to let go of me.
Yet here we are, far apart in distance and in thought.
I wonder how we’d be if I hadn’t told you…
How I felt
And right now, reclusion is the best option
I regret my decision, now I’m loosing it
I’m losing my sanity
I’m losing it all because of you
A life without you, is no life at all.
With several attempts I lost faith.
I think it’s goodbye, this is our fate.
I’ll always wonder if I made a mistake,
If I could’ve avoided all our heartaches
I’m losing it
I’m losing my sanity
All because of you.
As I write this piece I have a lot going on in mind now. The words I wish to convey hurts me greatly because it is like a dagger drove into my soul.
Many reasons and perceptions I can’t change and many mistakes can’t be wiped off entirely. These are like scars that people see any time my image pops up in mind.
I have tried the game of suicide but failed on number of occasions. Weary and weeping my eyes grow. I have tried running away from what seems to be a threat but it obviously hurts the present generation.
I want you to know that when I pass on, may this piece and many others be read to this generation and the generation to come.
Tell them of my Depression, which led to rejection and dejection.
Tell them of the Vilifications I had to endure because of miscommunication and Judgement.
Tell them of the respect I lost and didn’t earn because I failed to accept people of varied culture.
Tell them I so much hate myself of having to live with this Anguish and frown clothe by this present Day.
Tell them I fought but lost this battle.
As I write this piece I have a lot going on in mind now. The words I wish to convey hurts me greatly because it is like the burns I had five years ago.
Crap! I can still feel the pain and groans. Sometimes I am not perturbed at all because I just gave nature a cause to make mockery of my mourn.
September 4, I ate nothing for supper rather, the dispiteful words I knew were intended to correct wrongs.
I’ve got it this time around and sleep refuses to set in. I end this piece with Love. Help me understand myself, find myself, get out of depression and weary. Rather, don’t victimize me because I need you now.
Tell this, when I pass on!