Love is just not enough

The year is ending and unfortunately, so is my relationship. Wait a minute, my relationship beat 2020 to it, because it’s already ended. These past days have been the toughest ever. I haven’t slept in days, I haven’t eaten much (I’m starving, I just can’t eat), I’ve cried my tear ducts empty and I just […]

Love is just not enough

Ending the year with so many lessons to be learnt! This blog post from Doris-Mandy hit a spot. A relatable one that can’t be left unread! ❤️

Love is just not enough!

The Writer’s Prayer

Chapter Six of “When i Spotted Him…”

A happy new month loves. May this month fill us with Joy and peace. Read Chapter 5 of W.I.S.H?

Akosua was in love with a church guy but the occurrence that surrounded this love was tough. Did she give up? Pursued till the end? Found another love? Confused as it may seem, her never-ending-story continues.

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Who was he? What has he done to me? I couldnt help but torture my damn self from this conflicting incidents. These questions kept flooding my mind, making me second guess everything I thought I knew about love and its repercussions. My brain was getting worked up, like a computer when multiple files are opened at once and if I wasnt careful it would crash.


I needed to relax. I took a breather and composed myself. A best friend who could sense a different me, the Holy Spirit urged me to look beyond the non-existent feelings and approach life with faith and vigor. My rational mind told me a prayer of faith could as well bring my attention to him. Doubts sometimes did set in because, here is this man standing in front of me with looks every girl would like to have, in every conversation, the word God comes in it, looking at his mannerisms, one will easily conclude he is a home maker, an observer with the spirit of open-mindedness, less judgmental and he damn knows how to handle a situation.
These qualities were striking and I couldn’t wait to pinpoint his flaws he damn knows he is attractive and a good conversationist I am not saying this to make his big head bigger than it is already. Anyways, he did win my heart and I did admire him and wished my future dates will possess these enviable qualities; and even more. My prayer topic wasn’t about him- truth! It was about having faith and zeal to stand up for what I believe in and that


Every woman should also be in a position to express her feelings without any hindrance or mockery from society. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.


His intentions and thoughts about me weren’t really a bother to me because, personally, I will never yearn to please a guy. It will be telling a lie and living a life of hypocrisy. I will rather be myself and accept thoughtful or constructive criticism, and pay attention to suggestions. I was in no position to make any demands, suggest things we should do, in terms of going out, creating good conversations, why? He is sure to ask a why because, I was very emotional and a disappointment will definitely kill me in the end. I just didnt want to push too hard with him and had to be careful.

My prayer then was:


Dear Heavenly father, your daughter is grateful for her life. I confess my sins before you and bring my request before you. God, here is this man I long and hope to have a future with. I am hurt because of the circumstances surrounding this situation. If this is your will and desire for me, so be it.

A prayer could bring my attention to Kay.


This prayer was said without faith. Without faith because a part of me felt it was never going to happen. Even with me in the next world, he will definately choose another over me. Not to say this is judgemental but Kay’s utterances clearly shown otherwise. I was not matching up to his standard and i couldn’t fake it too.

Mum said in chapter 2, Chapter 2 if he likes you, he will definately come around. No need to push harder and complicate things for yourself. I could however recall Kay saying this in passing Fortune Favors the bravery. I was brave. Yes, brave in telling him about my feelings. But what I failed to recognized was that he was the kind who would want to hang out with a lady of his caliber- Tall, fair, pretty, good-looking, Jolly-going type, sociable, laugh at the slightest jokes, and one with an intelligent brain. And certainly not my kind who is scared when I see him and feel naturally uncomfortable with him. Truth is, all I wanted was his friendship and being inspired by his attitude. I guessed I rushed into making friends with him and keeping crossed fingers. Little did I know, I will be hurting inside if I don’t move on and keep a positive mindset about the whole situation. An idea quickly came in mind and this idea helped me in one way or the other. This was “branding myself”

Could this be an Infatuation?

“Chapter 5 of When I Spotted Him…“❤

Well there you have it- the efforts of poetessakosua reader pressure. I feel as though i haven’t been the best version of me in recent times when it comes to storytelling, so i guess it doesn’t hurt to give you what you want. Chapter 1, 2,3 and 4 got many of you texting me for Chapter 5. Been so long that you have probably forgotten the story (sorry!) so please feel free to refresh your memory.

https://poetessakosua.wordpress.com/2020/03/26/running-away-from-my-fears/ (Chapter 4)

https://poetessakosua.wordpress.com/2020/03/20/sequel-to-when-i-spotted-him/ (Chapter 3)


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He still got it and he could still get it. I sheepishly thought to myself. I curved out a smile, an attempt to mask the glooming sadness that was building up around me. He was here. He was finally here, with me after one whole year. I pinched myself, I had waited for him. My love for him still intact.
He will never be mine I keep reminding myself whenever we went out on a date, to the movies, sat together, crack jokes, shared testimonies, I remembered as I stared at him in awe and longing for the good old days when he was around me but those days had already come to pass, and if there is one thing I knew then is that wishes aren’t horses and even if they were, my dispirited self would be unable to ride. This man that I loved, this man that my broken heart had longed for was standing in front of me and I did not know what to do with him. I did not know how to act, what to say.


“Should I hug him, should I kiss?”

I deliberated with myself and when the deliberation bore no fruits I started shaking. I was nervous. It felt like we were meeting for the very first time and rightfully so because its only in that moment that I realized I knew so little of him. He, on the other hand, never made an attempt to know me, my family, my likes, dislikes, my perfume he only knew me for my old-fashioned nature and creative pieces. I was hurt and needed to run away from all this drama before I lost my sanity.


Finally, an opportunity presented itself and I went on a faraway land in search of greener pastures. The nature of work in a new environment and office gave little time to reminisce on my past and brood over my heart desires. Many a time, you will find me lost in thoughts and I’ll console myself with these words:


Akosua, you know better than anyone else that love can’t be fixed and its certainly not a puzzle. You will find someone better than Kay.


Its just not easy saying all these encouraging words and then life continues as if nothing is happening. I never kept an image of him because, it was not worth it. I gave it time and gave work my all; kept fasting and praying to God.


Chapter 5 of my story was written before the events unfolded. It was to me like a premonition meant to happen before everything and there was no way I could have prevented this chapter from happening. The little and cute gifts you received was my own way of saying,


Goodbye friend, use this to remember me and whenever you come across this book of mine, don’t be sarcastic about it. Rather, see it as the many twist and turns to love life many ladies go through or rather, the ordeal that some of us who are not hypocrites express love without fear.


An advice from a friend reminded me I had made a terrible mistake of my life by expressing what I felt. To him, you should be 100% sure if a guy is into you before coming out blatantly to return that kind of love. But my point is, there were signs and flirty acts too- I guess I mistook it to be “This is my kind of Woman.”

Yassss! So Chapter 5 ends here. Guys, Chapter 6 will be published soon. Love y’all.

Be safe.

ODOMANKOMA’s VERY OWN

POETESS AKOSUA
Who is the woman, the world asks
A demi-god
The mind blowing smallness of an existence.
We are the riddle the world is still solving
And a reason why men take a stance
We walk with purpose and our image lingers; mirrors
We, we become a God soaked metaphor when we support each other

AGB
The woman is a creature not carefully moulded,
But seriously needed,
A rib taken to make life meaningful to mankind,
In Odomankoma’s own wisdom,
The woman came to being,
Wisdom surrounds her,
Strength, she never lacks,
Yet, she is brushed aside like she never matters

POETESS AKOSUA
The African woman is thought from some fairly sculptured stone
She uses this strength to unravel her emotions
She tells of her love life
And she’s rejected and mocked by society
To them, it’s odd
She’s odomankoma’s tiny little creature walking home all alone
As the universe slowly rolled and rolled on by
Her sight was bleak, roaming the lonely sky
Sometimes a breath left her chest, a rising song
But she had forgotten the rhythm of the gong
She could not remember how the lyrics began
Her life was simple and ordinary without plan

AGB
Yet, many despise her and wish to tear her apart,
She wishes to fight
But society mocks her when she does,
So she walks away in fear,
When she stands,
Her legs shiver,
Tears roll down her cheeks everyday but she still keeps the head up,
She never quits
Because she doesn’t know how to.
She’s the pillar to lean on
Yet, men have gathered around her with hammers,
To break and destroy her.

POETESS AKOSUA

This African woman is the many reasons “to live and die for”
Don’t get me wrong; she isn’t Christ.
From society despising her and tearing her apart
To a long winding menstruation cycle
To always being ranked second, even in the Bible
She wishes to fight and never quit
Still she had grown up attractive, innocent, and shy
When she tells of her shyness, people look at her in amazement
Her gentle eyes were always filled with surprise
To the world of mankind she is the African Woman.
She wants to be pampered, caressed and loved to forget her yesterday’s.

AGB
As she wondered if a woman could be free of a man
For people heard her voice sweet and strong
But deep inside she knew they were so wrong
Life ate her sweet flesh, and left an empty bowl
So sometimes she smiled at the world around her
In her heart firing a massive mysterious tale
She wondered if the creator too was a female.

Poetry (A Duet) : A Ghanaian Boy (AGB) & Poetess Akosua

Image: Pinterest

When I Spotted him… Part Two.

Please have a read of Chapter one of When I Spotted Him. here

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There was an attempt to get his attention and somehow, it did work out perfectly. The funny thing was, I had male friends speculating about the whole

“Who is this lucky guy”

To some, the assumed description fits their personality and I wished they’d approached to ask questions I’m pretty sure it’ll be a big blow to their face. Try asking me what happened to my co-worker; He got tired of hitting on me and had to friend zone me (well, if you ask me, it’s not a bad idea as long as we are not enemies).

What next? What happens to me? I was intrigued and wanted to know him more after he read my pieces. This time around I was so sure he read it and he was trying hard to put all dots together. Just like the movies we watch, when it gets to the climax, you are impatient and anxious to know what is going to happen next. In a face to face conversation, I had no choice than to finally throw in the towel.

“The mystery guy, all along is you and I just couldn’t help it than to write about what I felt in nice way”

The look on his face and giggles proved my assertions right. I was certainly not his kind of girl. How could I have allowed my emotions to control my thoughts? I did try and made an attempt but was it worth it?

Kay, was everything I have ever wanted in a boyfriend. He was the kind of guy you want to look at once and steal three more glances at, he was breathtakingly handsome and that smile of his sure does something to me. My girlfriends know I have a thing for fair guys but this dark dude got me day dreaming…

“Akosua, you’re a pretty girl and I admire your ambitious nature but I just don’t feel the same way you do…”

At this point, you can imagine what was going through my mind. All I could do was to fake a smile and inwardly, my instincts kept telling me “I warned you not to make a mockery of yourself”
This thing called “love” has a way of making people act in a crazy way. The point is, I tried and there was an attempt to get his attention but the question is, should I keep forcing myself on something that is non-existent?

Mum’s advice somehow comforted me:

The right person will love you for who you are and their motives will be completely pure. You should never question whether someone loves you for who you are, but know that they do by their words and actions. Truth is, if someone doesn’t love you isn’t feeling it, you shouldn’t waste your time trying to force things. But instead, find that one person who will feel things naturally and without you having to do “prove yourself, and force things”

Honestly, I’d have loved to write a part 3 and part 4 of this story but I guess that’s the reality of life. See, love is not forced and it’s inherent. We forget that we shouldn’t be searching for perfection, that we shouldn’t be holding people to unreachable standards, but instead finding someone whose laughter makes us laugh, whose smile turns our frown, whose hands makes ours tingle, whose happiness brings light to our lives, whose passion sets us on fire and loving them because it’s just that simple.

You certainly can’t make someone feel something they aren’t ready to feel. You can’t hold them to expectations far beyond their reach and be disappointed when they don’t measure up. Love is not about trying to put pieces of puzzle together to form something. It should happen in a natural way. I don’t know about you but I’d rather spend my Saturday and Friday nights all alone than be with someone I feel He or I am having to force feelings.

After seeing the person you’d want to be with, you should go to bed at night thinking of happiness and not feeling depressed or sad, feeling good when you wake up in the morning, feeling inspired, being challenged to attain greater height. This should make us feel naturally as though we are on cloud 9.

Please share your thoughts and tell me what you think about this blog post. Let’s have a chat in the comment section below.

Disclaimer : This is a blog post of work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events is entirely coincidental.

When I spotted him…

when I spotted him…

I have a confession to make… please don’t be surprised to hear me utter these words.

These were the words I muttered to myself when I spotted this guy in church. I’d love to give a description of him to save you from guessing wrongly but on a second thought, let me save this for another time. Surprisingly, my co-worker felt the same way about me but just couldn’t let it out for the fear of the unknown. For me, it was magical any time I saw him pass by to the main auditorium. I just couldn’t stop staring and my instincts, somehow, kept battling with my mind.

He could be interested in someone else but why don’t you give it a try. I mean there’s definitely no harm in trying

Also, coyness kept saying to me.

No, just don’t try, you will make a mockery of yourself. Besides, you are a lady and it’s odd to see a lady proposing to a guy

Faith! Where are you? Please perform a miracle and let him spit out those three words already. I wouldn’t say I was desperate or rushing to have him all to myself. I had to be patient and let nature take care of this. I felt the need to talk to someone about this just to laugh over it, clear my head and stay put. The first person I spoke to urged me to give it a shot! But then I just couldn’t bring myself to accept any rejection. They say “actions speak louder than words” and I could let my actions do the needful by using his name to write a poem hoping he would read and understand these amative gestures but this dude read the poem on my whatssap status and didn’t pay attention to the words (I mean who does that😁) I could try again and again I thought, since he’s a poetry lover and loves literature. Then I wrote another but this time around, I sent it to him. Guess what, he read and said,

“Girl, you’ve got talent!”

For me, the write-up’s usually do the magic on my audience because once they read my pieces, we get interactive and so why is he acting all “slow-mo”. “I can’t think far…” In this case, it was virtually not working and I experienced a zero progress along the line. He is my kind of person and we would make a fine couple.

Unanswerable questions kept spinning in my head. Is this what guys go through when they try to “ron” us? “How do you guys even do it!!!” Asking a guy out isn’t an easy task to do in our part of the world. I’ve come to the conclusion that my man (whoever you are) will have to ask me out.

Please Don’t judge me.

Well, mine could just be a tip of the iceberg or probably I didn’t try harder. On the other side of the story was a co-worker who was also crushing on me but just couldn’t let it out. Apparently, I was so not interested and all I could think of was the dude who couldn’t make a head and tail from my poems. Why does love have to be so rigid and complicated this way. You love someone but that person is also head over heels with another. This is cruelty!

At one point, I imagined myself being a guy. Oh I wish I were a guy for few days… This thing called “roning” would have been much easier. The feminine in me was just haunting me to either give it a shot or stay put. Now, I needed a distraction or something that would make me to stop day-dreaming any time I run into him, an antidote to solve this puzzle and the twist and turns that will come with it.

The sight of him froze my brain and rendered me momentarily mute. His utterance is so soothing and I couldn’t just end the conversation yet. I shudder to think of what would happen if I could rehearse my lines properly and deliver them just like a guy would; I would be super proud of myself. It isn’t that I grow mute with all the “sugar-coated words”. I actually think up words and get them all organized in my head but “I open my mouth and the words don’t come out”.

I’d need a lawyer to help me out and if it did work out, my joy will be palpable. On the contrary, if it doesn’t work out, then he will be one of my many admirers from afar. Damn!

A writer once said Archimedes’ principle revels that the law of floatation is a mere exception to this rule: The dumbest ideas are born in the bathroom. Of all the guys, give me a chance to mention one I’d be more comfortable with when it comes to activities in church and I’d readily go for him. However, that thought remained in my bathroom and not to the populace. You see, it’s just not a Girls’ thing to do. (try asking all the women) It’s real hard. All we can do is to let our actions speak Louder!

PS: Read Chapter two of this Story here

Please share your thoughts and tell me what you think about this blog post. Let’s have a chat in the comment section below.

Disclaimer : This is a blog post of work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events is entirely coincidental.

Let’s be real here this is what most ladies go through…

Image : Pixabay

TAGGED!

The questions that goes on in the mind of single ladies is what I would want to unravel. This may sound straight-up sad and a bit odd. That’s why I initially resisted writing this piece. I cringe when I imagine this was, however, going to be read by my audience – strangers online, fellow artist, friends, crushes, admirers afar and my future dates who will be lurking in my blog.

How do you reconcile having a good life; well-to-do, think of the finest things life would give you and you are still single? Or do you have your kind of ideal Man?’’ He asked. I replied, “It’s about not organizing your life around another person- when you shut all doors and prioritize the relationship above everything. Personally, I don’t seek perfection because I know definitely I’ll not have everything. I would like to have a balance, where my kind of friendship is important as my romantic relationship and so it will be with my work. However, if there is no Romantic relationship, does my yearning for a partner make me lame and frustrated?

For society, Growing up should follow the norm…and the kind of questions they pose:
When are you going to school? Hope you have now gained admission to the university, Now that you have completed your National service and have landed yourself a well-paid Job, when are you planning to get married?

Sometimes these questions makes me wonder if it’s every woman’s fault she is single. I had one picture in mind back then and that was to embark on a journey of Purity, concentrate on my studies, and get a well-paid Job, meet my husband and marry. Perfect isn’t it? But then it looks like one in a million will have that dream come true and now I know it will be boring if this dream came true. May be or maybe not!

Here I am surrounded by people from different tribe, school and homes. Did I make friends? Of course I did… and a lot of them were men too. Now this is the point a lot of people assume. The fact that a woman is surrounded by men does mean there is a kind of fondness for them. Love is a beautiful thing even though, personally I haven’t had the chance to be loved… (You may doubt; argue with yourself). It will happen when it happens and when it does, you’ll treat it the way you want it. I have had so many people talk about their marriage life, others pour out their fears, joy and whether or not I am ready or what at all am I waiting for? These get me sometimes… especially when I begin to reflect on life daily. The question is, should we feel frustrated at a certain stage
when society keeps pouncing on us? Should we be perturbed when everyone seems to be talking about “marriage?” should we be disturbed about getting the perfect creature to hook up with? Emphatically “no”. Why can’t we allow them to breathe, take their time with the choices they make, stop tagging them, and reflect on their next move before regrets and depression start to set in.

The “Why” is what I want to unravel. For someone who is emotional and have that intense feeling, you need to be sure of yourself first before making any kind of commitment because marriage is no joke; it’s for a lifetime. You sure do owe that guy or lady honesty and wouldn’t want to pretend, make the person feel unwanted, bored in the relationship, unhappy or use the person to escape your own emotional needs. It’s definitely not about someone waiting for that “Perfect somebody” so stop thinking and assuming any single person you see is making excuses, Friend-zoning, or setting some kind of outrageous high standards.

When love comes your way, remember “it is what it is” don’t raise expectations. Just allow nature to take its course. However, if someone else has occupied that heart, just don’t force it and be not perturbed when no one comes by. Eventually, you’ll find that person. And when you do, make a positive impact on his or her life, try your best to make him or her happy, face life one day at a time, and spice it up when you have to, learn and relearn in the relationship.

I am no expert on this matter but what I do know is; The world is evolving and no one is going to give you that man it’s up to you to make yourself available and stop treating them as if they aren’t worth your love. No one gives you a map; you have to make one for yourself by setting thoughtful rules for yourself of how things should be and not be at every point in your life.

Your society and the world around you should not decipher what you should do. So to my friend who is always posing a lot of questions… I am also waiting for the same conviction you had when you met “Mr. Right.”

Image by :reartgallery (Photographer)

ARE WOMEN THEIR OWN ENEMIES?

They didn’t only frown their faces but waited for her to leave the scene and gossiped about the issue. They could have at least rejoiced with her and given words of encouragement. Instead, they cared less about her cheesy promotion or the fact that she was going to receive extra money for earning that promotion. This clearly shows women are their own worst enemies.

My circle of friends know most of the people I roll with are guys. I used to say that “some girls are like this or that” This was once a saying of mine but there are some things that only a girl can relate to. Apparently, both men and women know of this phrase, “Women are their own worst enemies” and it is really nauseating to see women act negatively towards their fellow women. The little, unnecessary drama and trivial issues set in, when we fail to support each other in various ways. It’s been said that women are complex creatures and they have the gift of multitasking. It is a sight to behold when you see a woman trying so many things at the same time. Then I begin to ask a hoard of questions like,

“Why envy your fellow woman when you can as well strive towards pressing the same goal and win?”

As a woman, somewhere in my career I had a hellish experience which made me conclude that we’re our own enemies. The bottom line is, all the unnecessary chit-chats coupled with jealousy and evilness retards productivity. Once I got tangled between two women who harbored hatred in their heart because of a little misunderstanding. I cast my mind back to their first encounter and asked myself

“what really changed?”

The world celebrates 8th March as International Women’s Day (IWD)and acknowledges the great things women are doing. Sometimes we give credit to those who agree with us on views and ideas. Those who oppose our ideas and opinions, we tag them with a bad name and fail to give them the accorded respect. Any person who is scared of another person’s success and feels threatened is yet to figure out her purpose and identity. On the contrary, if a person is certain of her purpose and passion towards work, she will not be jealous or perturbed because, she will first decipher what trend works out perfectly for her.

As a woman, you’ll start questioning a whole lot of happenings and maybe, you’re just a representation of what people would want to be. What is more beautiful and refreshing to see your fellow woman progress and succeed in a particular field of endeavor? I say to all young and old women to show love, fairness and affection to themselves and help pull each other up to attain higher heights. The woman to woman relationship needs a massive improvement to debunk the notion and perception that “Women are their own enemies” Women in this era need to grow into thoughts and reflect on some of their actions and attitudes towards their fellow women.

Image: Elorm Richards (Photographer)