I’m losing it!

12 a.m

Sleep refuses to set in
My mind goes to a long journey
One of bliss and bloom
Makes me want to shun reclusion

Makes me want to imagine how you made me feel

What is it about you that haunts me?
I let you go so I can set my mind free.
You meant everything to me and now, I have to treat you like a stranger,
Take me back to when we smiled sweetly
That look on your face; I swear it was flirtatious.
But I felt for it anyways
it isn’t our time to be together.
I’m losing my sanity
I’m losing it because of you

I was completely lost before I met you.
You gave me reason to live and direction to follow.
But now we’re back to square one,
And the loneliness has already begun.

I promised you’ll never be my muse
Because this reclusion will affect our relationship
You promised never to let go of me.
Yet here we are, far apart in distance and in thought.
I wonder how we’d be if I hadn’t told you…

How I felt

And right now, reclusion is the best option
I regret my decision, now I’m loosing it
I’m losing my sanity
I’m losing it all because of you
A life without you, is no life at all.

With several attempts I lost faith.
I think it’s goodbye, this is our fate.
I’ll always wonder if I made a mistake,
If I could’ve avoided all our heartaches
I’m losing it
I’m losing my sanity
All because of you.

©May 2019

Image: Pixabay

TELL THEM!

As I write this piece I have a lot going on in mind now. The words I wish to convey hurts me greatly because it is like a dagger drove into my soul.
Many reasons and perceptions I can’t change and many mistakes can’t be wiped off entirely. These are like scars that people see any time my image pops up in mind.
I have tried the game of suicide but failed on number of occasions. Weary and weeping my eyes grow. I have tried running away from what seems to be a threat but it obviously hurts the present generation.
I want you to know that when I pass on, may this piece and many others be read to this generation and the generation to come.

Tell them of my Depression, which led to rejection and dejection.
Tell them of the Vilifications I had to endure because of miscommunication and Judgement.
Tell them of the respect I lost and didn’t earn because I failed to accept people of varied culture.
Tell them I so much hate myself of having to live with this Anguish and frown clothe by this present Day.

Tell them I fought but lost this battle.

As I write this piece I have a lot going on in mind now. The words I wish to convey hurts me greatly because it is like the burns I had five years ago.
Crap! I can still feel the pain and groans. Sometimes I am not perturbed at all because I just gave nature a cause to make mockery of my mourn.
September 4, I ate nothing for supper rather, the dispiteful words I knew were intended to correct wrongs.

I’ve got it this time around and sleep refuses to set in. I end this piece with Love. Help me understand myself, find myself, get out of depression and weary. Rather, don’t victimize me because I need you now.
Tell this, when I pass on!

Poetry

©May 2019

ODOMANKOMA’s VERY OWN

POETESS AKOSUA
Who is the woman, the world asks
A demi-god
The mind blowing smallness of an existence.
We are the riddle the world is still solving
And a reason why men take a stance
We walk with purpose and our image lingers; mirrors
We, we become a God soaked metaphor when we support each other

AGB
The woman is a creature not carefully moulded,
But seriously needed,
A rib taken to make life meaningful to mankind,
In Odomankoma’s own wisdom,
The woman came to being,
Wisdom surrounds her,
Strength, she never lacks,
Yet, she is brushed aside like she never matters

POETESS AKOSUA
The African woman is thought from some fairly sculptured stone
She uses this strength to unravel her emotions
She tells of her love life
And she’s rejected and mocked by society
To them, it’s odd
She’s odomankoma’s tiny little creature walking home all alone
As the universe slowly rolled and rolled on by
Her sight was bleak, roaming the lonely sky
Sometimes a breath left her chest, a rising song
But she had forgotten the rhythm of the gong
She could not remember how the lyrics began
Her life was simple and ordinary without plan

AGB
Yet, many despise her and wish to tear her apart,
She wishes to fight
But society mocks her when she does,
So she walks away in fear,
When she stands,
Her legs shiver,
Tears roll down her cheeks everyday but she still keeps the head up,
She never quits
Because she doesn’t know how to.
She’s the pillar to lean on
Yet, men have gathered around her with hammers,
To break and destroy her.

POETESS AKOSUA

This African woman is the many reasons “to live and die for”
Don’t get me wrong; she isn’t Christ.
From society despising her and tearing her apart
To a long winding menstruation cycle
To always being ranked second, even in the Bible
She wishes to fight and never quit
Still she had grown up attractive, innocent, and shy
When she tells of her shyness, people look at her in amazement
Her gentle eyes were always filled with surprise
To the world of mankind she is the African Woman.
She wants to be pampered, caressed and loved to forget her yesterday’s.

AGB
As she wondered if a woman could be free of a man
For people heard her voice sweet and strong
But deep inside she knew they were so wrong
Life ate her sweet flesh, and left an empty bowl
So sometimes she smiled at the world around her
In her heart firing a massive mysterious tale
She wondered if the creator too was a female.

Poetry (A Duet) : A Ghanaian Boy (AGB) & Poetess Akosua

Image: Pinterest

THE WORSHIPPER

I was no woman of god, but watching you talk about Jesus Christ and Salvation makes me want to experience God more.

I was no believer in the afterlife, but I’ll end this lifetime just to know you all over again in another world

I was of no strong faith, but before I speak, create and think, my mind goes to a heavenly land.

I am no Greek goddess, but I will drink every last bit of you until you flow like ichor in my veins
You, You, is all I need right now. Listening to your voice, words, gives me strength.

The Worshipper.

‪And I am no temple, no mosque nor church, but call me your sanctuary and lay your prayers unto me. Let me be your Bride and you, my groom.

Teach me and direct me to the heavenly land.

You know I am no holy woman, but with you, I know I will be One.

© 2019

Suave Bracelet

It’s Suave
You made me a bracelet
Made of your sweat
For me to smell it day and night
The smell of this bracelet echoes your soothing voice

So many times I have tried to stop this muse
It haunts me to write about this bracelet
Low, I lie down and saw blisters on my wrist
It reminds me of that night

Its Regal
You made me a bracelet
Made of your warm embrace
For me to gaze at it day and night
It’s still on my wrist like glue
Waiting for you to tie a knot

Forget not about the promises
I’d be waiting
Till this knot is tied!

©2019

FORLORNNESS

Caught by the whirlwinds of forlornness.
With no one to share memories with
Not even a smile
As I sit all alone
Playing a game of patience
With my back against the wall
Thoughts breed in my mind.
Waiting for a stranger to spend a moment
One who would want to mend this broken piece.
But each time, I sense loneliness
Forlornness clouds my heart like clot of blood
It eats me up, fills me with rage, consumes my being and makes me want to go out in search of a stranger.

Sometimes all we crave for is a warm hug
A moment of solitude with that dream
A little affection
A chat with that one person and a touch
I am here on this lifeless bed
I dated ideas of you
And we romanced
But each time, I sense forlornness.
And all I ask is for forlornness to be engraved.

Your World…

Just like Romeo and Juliet,
Ours could have been a Fairytale
It could have been a long wait
But you chose your busy tail
This world of yours baffles me
It’s a puzzle I’d love to solve
This world of yours
baffles me
It’s a game I’d love to play along

Perchance, I have been day dreaming
All my life I have been singing
I, who have sung so many songs
Singing, until I cried bitterly
It gets awfully annoying
Perchance, I have been day dreaming
I scream your name when It gets awfully lonely
Screaming silently in solitude

I’d like to beg an angel to whisper
My name into your ears
For you have been gone for years
Your world I fear to reach
I, who have sung so many songs
Your world I can’t fathom
It’s a difficult task to teach
I talk to myself when I write
Whisper, shout and scream to myself
Shouting a silent prayer
Wishing my angels would whisper
Words into your World!

Poetess: Lynda Amoni.

SCARED

Too scared to look you in the face
I’m scared to let the words out
Too scared to tell of how I feel
I’m scared to let go of my coyness
Too scared to accept your rejection

I’m scared to let you go
Too scared to embrace thoughts of you with another
I’m scared you’ll mock me in your heart
Too scared i won’t be good for you
I’m scared I won’t meet your standards.

I’m scared; I’m scared;
Too scared to look in the mirror at night to rehearse my lines
I’m scared to say and see the truth
Too scared of the stranger I’m about to let in
I’m scared of your response

I’m scared you won’t feel same
Too scared another has taken over
I’m scared to discover
Too scared you won’t want me as much as I do.

And I’m scared of me…

Writer: Lynda Amoni
©March 2019